Believe in love
by Tray D. Sheila
Summary: You've been lonely after your friends, family and the whole town chased you away, but what had hurt you the most, was when you fiancé left you to your destiny. He didn't care enough for you to stay in front of you and protect you, like a fiancé should do. He left you. It was then your mind convinced you that love was nothing but an illusion and you couldn't trust it.


**I've been reading a few stories her, where yourself is the OC, so I tried to write one too. First it was hard, but as I got started, I just could't stop. This one I wrote within and hour and a half. I really like how it turned out and hopefully you like it too.**

**So enjoy the story.**

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You once thought you were the happiest woman on earth. The man you were engaged to was caring, loving and a gentleman. Sure he was giving other women attention too, but only because he was a gentleman. Or so you thought. When your Island was attacked by pirates, he should be the one to protect you from harm or at least dying trying to protect you. However, he didn't do that. As the pirates came closer, he abandoned you, running of and letting you to your faith.

It was at that time, when the pirates looked hungry and needy at you that you unlocked your potential and killed each pirate. First you dodged all their attacks with ease, and then you used your fist to break their bones. It was covered in something black, but you didn't understand. You just reacted. It was surreal, like you were watching yourself from the outside. As they had surrounded you and there was no way to escape or get killed, you used your will to survive, your anger off being hurt and unleashed some sort of power that made the pirates fell onto the ground, unconsciously.

Then you finished them off, afraid what they would do to you and your friends, once they woke up. As you looked around, you saw the fear in the eyes of the people you knew and those you didn't. They didn't look at the pirates, but you. You couldn't understand why, but then a child yelled FREAK and one called you a monster. They chased you to the other side of the Island, where you broke down.

A few weeks after that incident, a pirate ship anchored near the beach where you've been living since the tows people chased you away. Though you were treated as a monster and a freak now, you still loved this Island and you didn't want another pirate crew to raid it. So you stood firm and proud, ready for a fight. You didn't expect the pirates to be friendly and laid back.

The pirates were not here to raid the Island; in fact they told you they never did any harm to innocent people. Of course you didn't believe them at first, but as they started to party and invited you, you joined them. You longed for company, for anyone not to be scared of you. The captain was always smiling or laughing. He was a loud man, but you liked him right away. He just seemed so trustworthy.

They stayed for a few days and you got to know them better. As the captain said it was time to leave, you felt you heart ache and the loneliness creep over your mind. The captain looked at you, as if he waited for you to do something and you looked at him with confusion. It was then he told you to get onboard or they would leave you behind. He didn't have to tell you twice and you joined them. Never had you thought you would become a pirate, yet here you were, onboard a pirate ship, belonging to the Yonko Akagami no Shanks, captain of the Red-Hair pirates.

He taught you to control your Haki, as he called it. Benn taught you to navigate, Yasopp how to keep watch, Lucky Roo taught you how to cook, while others taught you the life on the sea. It was rough and you were not strong in the beginning, but as you gained control of your Haki and learned some basics fighting moves, you were cable of protecting yourself and your nakama, your family. The ship was your home and the crew your family and had been so for two years now.

You met many great pirates; many not so great pirates and you were there when Shanks needed an advice about a new crew member. Everyone appreciated your wisdom and your ability to read people's intention. It was what made you special and the rumors about your strength and ability reached to the marines, who had giving you a high bounty, but you didn't care.

One day, as you watched one of the many fights, Shanks had with Dracule Mihawk, you noticed a feeling you never had have since your met your former fiancé. Frowning, you tried to push the feeling aside. You didn't want that feeling, didn't need it. However it was there and the more you tried to ignore it, the more irritated you got. Benn was the first to notice it.

"What's wrong?" he asked you one day.

You looked at him, tilting your head, not knowing what he was talking about. "What do you mean?" you asked.

"You snap too much lately and have been looking down. It can't be that time of the month," he said, lighting up a cigarette.

"It's nothing," you said, not wanting to talk about it.

He shrugged. "Just try not to let your problems affect you too much. The crew will notice and start worrying too much," he said.

You just nodded and left him to do your duty. However, his words kept ringing in your mind. It was not that you wanted to be like this, but you couldn't allow those feelings to take over. It had betrayed you once and you feared you would betray yourself again and that you would have to leave your second home. If it came to that, you knew a place where you could go, but you weren't sure your heart could bear it.

So a few weeks passed and you closed you heart. Whenever there was a party, you would still be joking around and drinking, but not as much as before. You didn't drink all night and you left early, though still not so early that anyone would really notice. Well, except for Benn, who had been keeping an eye on you, since he started to notice you mood changes.

It comforted you that he cared and worried, but it also was annoying. You can handle your problems, though it takes time. It was then that you realized that not only had you those unwanted feelings, you also didn't completely trust your nakama. Depressed, you stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling. This was not what you wanted. Why couldn't you just let go and follow your heart again?

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear the knock or that your door was opened. First as someone sat on your bed, taking your hand, you were brought out of your thoughts. As you turned your head to see who had entered your room, you saw your captain sitting next to you, worries in his normally carefree and cheerful eyes. It was so rare to see him like this.

"Do you feel sick?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.

Of cause he cared for you. You were his nakama and as a captain he was worried when one of his crew was acting strange, sick, was wounded or depressed. He had shown that often when you had been in battle, yet his worries made you feel special. Like he only had eyes for you, but you knew you were lying to yourself.

"I just didn't get much sleep," you lied, not wanting to tell the truth.

"Why do you lie to me?" he asked, not believing you.

Of course he could see through your halfhearted lie. He taught you how to lie to get what you wanted. He was one of the few you just couldn't lie to. Your mind didn't work like you wanted to and you cursed inwards. Now he knew that something was off, because you had never lied to him.

"I … I just have some personal problems that takes too much energy and I was thinking about why. I just forgot the time, but if you leave, I'll get up," you said.

Shanks didn't let go of you hand, his eyes piercing into yours. You've noticed long ago that his black eyes had also a touch of brown into them. You've noticed so much about him unconsciously that it drove you insane to think about the reason why you did so. It also scared you. Your life turned up-side down as the illusion broke and you had sworn never to let those feelings in again, yet here they were.

"_(your name)_. Why can't you let go?" Shanks asked.

You swallowed a lump. "Because I'm scared," you admitted.

"Of what?"

"Being left alone again," you answered and that was the truth.

You've been lonely after your friends, family and the whole town chased you away, but what had hurt you the most, was when you fiancé left you to your destiny. He didn't care enough for you to stay in front of you and protect you, like a fiancé should do. He left you. It was then your mind convinced you that love was nothing but an illusion and you couldn't trust it. It only gave you loneliness, which was the worst.

"I won't leave you," he said.

A part of you knew he told the truth, but another part told you it was a mere lie. You could only trust yourself and no one else. In the end, everyone would leave you. First your fiancé, then your friends, family and the whole town turned on you, leaving you on your own. Sure Shanks and the Red-Hair pirates took you along and treated you like you were a part of their family, but a part of you thought it was just an illusion.

"It's an illusion. In the end, everyone leaves," you said.

Shanks looked hurt and you cursed inwards. You didn't want to hurt him. Of all on this ship, he was the last person you wanted to hurt. And yet you did it. Your words and depression hurt him. You had no idea how to make it up to him. You weren't sure what to do anymore.

"If that's what you truly believe, then this is not the place for you. At the next Island you are free to leave," he says, his words feeling like knives to you bleeding heart.

Before you can say anything, he leaves and you cry. Why couldn't you just let go of you fears? Why couldn't you trust him? What was wrong with you? You turn around, burying you head into your pillow and cry your heart out. The pain is too much and after a while, you calm down and fall asleep.

Your dream is filled with faces. You are running, but not getting anywhere. People you knew, people you loved, everyone is looking at you with disgust and fear. Until your crew is shown. You see their disappointed faces, the hurt in their eyes. Even tears stinging in the corner of their eyes, as they wish you a good life. You are confused. Why would they wish you a good life? Aren't they your nakama, your family? Then you see Benn. He tells you that Shanks can't be there, he is too hurt. Benn gives you some money and a card, saying if you changed your mind or got your problems under control, you were welcomed back. Then the ship leaves without you and you scream.

As the ship leaves in your dream and you scream, you jolt up in bed, the scream stinging in your throat. You are shivering of fear. The nightmare is still clear in your mind and you can't help but cry again. You don't want that to happen. You don't want to leave, but if you don't change, you know that Shanks would tell you to. The thought alone hurt and scares you more than anything and you knew that there is no other home for you than here.

You rush into some clothes and out your room. Though you haven't had breakfast or feel rested, you rush to the room where you know Shanks is. The fear of leaving the ship and lose your home is far worse than the fear of acknowledging your feelings. Panting slightly, you stand before his door for a few seconds. You can feel he's alone. Bringing up all your courage, you knock on the door and enter as he asks you to.

Shanks looks at you with a slight hope in his eyes. That makes you feel slight better and you walk over to him, your heart beating in fear and excitement. You've decided to tell him the truth, because he deserves it. You know that there is a chance you can stay on the ship after telling him the truth. If you don't talk to him or tell him the truth, you will for sure be kicked out.

"Do you want to tell me something?" he asked you.

You inhale and exhaled, before looking into his eyes. "I love you," you say and feel how everything around stops.

Shanks slowly rise from his chair and come over to you. You can't move, just holding his gaze. You heart is beating and you feel that time is moving slower. Shanks stops in front of you and you tilt you head slightly to see his eyes. He smiles softly at you and you feel how your heart beats faster, just loving that smile of his.

"You sure took your time to realize it," he says.

Before you can reply or do anything, his lips has captured yours and he kisses you softly. You close your eyes and kiss him back, placing your arms around his neck, as he put his on your waist and pulls you closer to him. His kiss taste like sake, salt and something that is just him. You don't know what it is, but you love it.

He breaks the kiss to get air and locks his eyes with yours. "I love you too."

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**So what do you think? Is it good or bad? Can I do anything better or should I just drop writing like this?**

**I can handle constructive feedback, so please tell me what was good and what was bad.**


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